Having it all, but having nothing at all

I recently watched this Outside the Lines report on the tragic life of Erica Blasberg.

Several thing I find important to note.

1. Our hearts are always looking for something to anchor our identity in - whether it's golf, relationships, success, etc. At the end of the day, whatever we anchor ourselves in better be able to satisfy, or we're in deep trouble.

2. The need for community and deep, intimate relationship is strong. Erica longed for companionship. Notice the number of times in the video she is described as lonely. I am deeply disturbed that one of 'close' friends saw signs of trouble and even a note, yet didn't say anything for fear of losing her trust? That's not love - that's selfishness clothed in compassion. It's worse than hate b/c it ends up looking like apathy.

3. Authoritative guidance without the long-term picture in mind can be destructive and fatal. I find it so weird that her father was portrayed (and I recognize that there is probably some creative re-telling of the story) as remorseless and unapologetic. I can't imagine that any father whose child committed suicide would not have some regret or introspection, but I find it cold to say that he absolutely pushed her with very little visible remorse or contrition. I suppose that it's yet another example of parents living out their dreams through their children. It's something that I feel the tension for everyday - to dominate my boys so that they carry out my will. What a timely reminder.

I don't want to make this a case study, but it brings into clear focus what one of my co-pastors preached yesterday out of Mark 8:31-38, "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the sake of the Gospel will find it."

Prabhu Yishu

As part of our short-term mission trip preparation, I and five others from our college team visited a friend who leads a Nepali/Bhutanese church in Glen Ellyn, IL. This is nothing short of remarkable especially if you're familiar with Glen Ellyn, and the wealth that it is known for. God has been doing amazing things with the Trinity International Baptist Mission, and I learned so much even from a short two-hour worship experience with them.

One of the things that impressed me so much was kindredness that I observed - the church gathered and they enjoyed being together. I don't know if it's the collect refugee experience that has tied them, the common homeland, or the common faith in Jesus - I'm sure it's a combination of those and more. Still, it was beautiful to see a multi-generational gathering worshiping together.

The second thing I was reminded of was how much of the Bible could truly be taken at face value for many of these brothers and sisters. Their experience has been a hard one, but one filled with rich blessing and faithfulness. As the preacher shared yesterday, God has moved them all over the earth so that they might know him and live for him. When the Scriptures speak of being refugees and aliens (eg: 1 Pet 2:11), they have a far better reference point than I do.

The third thing I was reminded of was the beauty of the various expressions of what it means to worship Jesus as Lord. As we walked into the building, an African congregation was finishing their worship service as another Korean congregation was worshiping in another section. We walked into the Nepali service, and as we left that time, we briefly observed a Karen congregation worshiping. Talk about being a global church (building)! Phillip Jenkins and Soong Chan Rah have written some great books that have really opened my eyes to my own Western ethnocentrism when it comes to church life and theology, and I saw living proof that Jesus is indeed Lord of all the nations and is doing marvelous things again in our day as he draws the nations to himself.

I realized how much my own faith is near-sighted and incomplete without the testimony of my Nepali brothers and sisters showing me yet another facet of the beauty of Christ. Wherever you are in the journey of faith, I pray that you will not neglect putting yourself in experiences where the Lord might grow in you a robust, inter-cultural, and global faith that resemble Prabhu Yishu (the Lord Jesus) in all of his beauty.

Some recommended follow-up reading:

Talk About The Story: A follow-up to Mark Matlock

Mark Matlock's book, Real World Parents: Christian Parenting for Families Living in the Real World is a helpful reminder to parents about what it takes to form children who love the Lord. Mark always has a ton of insightful things to say, and this book about the family was no different. One of the things that impressed me most was his reminder to call families to live in The Story that God has been writing and is writing. All of us are busy living out stories - journeys, experiences, and attempts to make meaning of our lives and the world we occupy. All of these stories are part of a larger Story, what philosophers and theologians call a meta-narrative. The Bible offers such a meta-narrative that is rooted in the very heart of God himself.

As we think about and respond to the call to help our children to live out their stories, it's imperative that we intentionally remind them, teach them, and lead them to see how their story must surrender to and be intertwined with God's Story. In fact, this is the very thing that God commands in Deuteronomy 6:20-25,

When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the LORD showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us.’

I know this is a familiar passage to many of you concluding the Shema ("Hear, O Israel, the Lord Your God is One..."). The people of God are to live in covenantal faithfulness to the Lord. They are to tell their children when they rise and in their coming and going. This much is well-known and a foundational principle for many a family ministry, children's ministry, or student ministry. But notice the ending. After the stipulations of the covenant are rehearsed, Moses says that there will be a time when the sons will ask, "what does this mean?" The parents are to respond not by explaining the theological principle of a monotheistic God, but to tell them the STORY of REDEMPTION (we were slaves, YHWH brought us out, and this is what happened). The Israelites were to tell The Story that defined their stories.

Later Judaic interpretations and applications of this passage (most notably in the Passover Seder found in the Haggadah) expand on this further. There is virtually a script which parents are to follow when their children ask about the meaning of the various parts of the Passover meal. And guess what? They all have to do with The Story of redemption.

So the point is this - don't forget The Story. Tie everything back to the Gospel for your children. Here are some ways that I try to live out all of Deut 6 in my home (also refer to the LeaderTalk for Mark's great examples).

1. Take the time to point out the glory of God in mundane, everyday things. Sometimes my most incredible conversations with my son are over how amazing bugs are. I will often ask him, "who made this bug? why?" I'll stop the car to take in a glorious sunset or stand by the window to watch the rain fall reminding my son in my own wonder that God is indeed great!

2. Take advantage of strategic points during the church year. If you're not leading your family through intentional devotions at least during Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter, you are missing a huge opportunity to talk about the Story.

3. Constantly ask questions. This is almost catechismal, but I think there's a reason that throughout her history, the Church relied on catechisms (question and answer-type confirmation learning) to disciple their young. I will often ask questions to my son about what is the cross? Why did God make the earth? Why is it important to share? How did David kill Goliath? etc. Simple questions can often ingrain a reminder of the Story.

4. Live out the Story. Our children will reflect our adherence to the Story. Sadly, the Israelites failed to pass on the Story to their children, instead choosing to live in covenantal unfaithfulness. God forbid that we should spend our careers proclaiming the Story to our students and in our churches, but not in our home!

The Fascination with Newness

"The fascination with the newness of things can be so destructive to our affections." A clip from Piper's reflections on Robert Murray Mc'Cheyne's life.

Idolatry sighting.

I don't want to sound harsh, and I recognize that there are a host of factors behind the actions of these fans. Still, I am continually amazed at the human heart's propensity to worship and give honor to things as petty as sports and traditions - so much so that at it's worst, we are willing to take life (both human and arbor). I'm sure they were magnificent trees, Alabama's loss was heart-breaking, and it sounds like it was some pretty poor soccer being played, but what these actions show me is that whenever our idols are endangered (which, in itself is an irony that a idol is in need of saving), we will do whatever we can to avenge them or protect them.

Guatemalan executive shot and killed

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Associated Press

GUATEMALA CITY -- The vice president of a last-place soccer team in Guatemala has been shot to death after receiving threats about the club's poor play.

National Civil Police spokesman Donald Gonzalez said Saturday no suspects have been detained in the killing of Carlos Noe Gomez. Gonzalez said the club executive was killed late Friday as he left a team meeting in the northern province of Huehuetenango.

Prosecutor Nery Martinez says the investigation is focused on the threats Gomez reported receiving several weeks ago.

Deportivo Xinabajul is last in the country's national league and lost 2-0 at home this week to Suchitepequez.

Toomer's Corner rally draws thousands

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Associated Press

AUBURN, Ala. -- A steady stream of people gathered to mourn the apparent imminent demise of the poisoned oak trees at Toomer's Corner, where Auburn fans traditionally celebrate wins.

The crowd of old and young alike, many clad in orange and blue, began arriving early Saturday morning for the rally dubbed "Toomer's Tree Hug" and carried on well into the afternoon.

[+] Enlarge

AP Photo/Butch DillThousands of Auburn fans joined in at a "Toomer's Tree Hug" rally Saturday to show support for the historic trees that have been poisoned.

A fan of rival Alabama -- Harvey Updyke Jr., 62 -- has been charged with first-degree criminal mischief for allegedly using a tree-destroying herbicide to poison the two 130-year-old oaks after Auburn beat the Crimson Tide in November. He was released from the Lee County Detention Facility on bond Friday night.

It's a bitter, state-encompassing rivalry -- one where the lack of professional sports in the state and two schools dominate the sports landscape makes it different than other storied sports rivalries like North Carolina-Duke, Ohio State-Michigan, Red Sox-Yankees or Lakers-Celtics.

But the heinous act even has devout Alabama fans saying this is taking it too far. One group of 'Bama fans has started raising money for replacements for the oaks.

Alabama student Sean Phillips, wearing a crimson-and-white Mark Ingram jersey, says it is "a really sad day for Alabama as a whole."

He made the two-hour drive from home in Birmingham "to support a tradition that will soon be lost here."

"The guy that did this was crazy," Phillips said. "There might be animosity between the schools, but there's always that connection because we're all from Alabama. We're all in this together."

The Toomer's traditions -- including the famously sweet lemonade at Toomer's Drugs across the street -- are ingrained in the state's culture, like Alabama with Bear Bryant and Denny Chimes. It's where hundreds of fans celebrated the recent football national championship on Jan. 10.

Toomer's Corner separates the Auburn campus and downtown, a quick walk from Jordan-Hare Stadium.

And the vandalism has hit the Auburn community hard.

Retired Auburn athletic director David Housel tried to put its significance in terms people outside Southeastern Conference country can understand.

"In New York, Times Square is considered the crossroads of the world," Housel said. "In our world, Toomer's Corner is the crossroads of Auburn."

F.O. Ferguson of Sylacauga, Ala., who came to his first Auburn game in 1934, said Toomer's Corner is a landmark that means a lot to Auburn people.

"I don't understand why anybody would just maliciously ... a tree that's not bothering anybody." Ferguson said, shaking his head. "I don't know. We've got some crazies in this world."

Joyce Parker, an 86-year-old Auburn alum and football season ticker holder, was not about to miss the rally, driving a few hours from her home in Gadsen.

"We love Auburn," Parker said. "We love the school and we love the town. And we love the trees."

Why are Christians so intolerant!?

Hmmm...listen to this 5-minute clip by D.A. Carson on who's really intolerant.

Another good diagram

I always love a good diagram that helps break down complex issues and makes them look really, really simple. Of course, as with all situations, we cannot just rely on a diagram or chart; we need wisdom to navigate life's situations and relationships. Still, I find that diagrams like this one help me locate where I am on the map, and how I might need to navigate from there.

When Is an Issue Important Enough to Correct Someone?

Do you pray hard or hardly pray?

Last week, I finished reading a book by Paul Miller called, "A Praying Life". I've read a number of prayer books in my journey, but I must say that this book has an altogether different quality. I say that because Paul takes a very simple concept about prayer and intertwines it around his own life story and journey - especially his learnings from his autistic daughter, Kim. Incidentally, I find that the men and women who have taught me most about what prayer is all have had incredible difficulty in their lives, a long-lasting storm that required constant dependence and reliance on the Lord.

Paul reasserts the commonly held and cherished idea that God is our Father and we are his children, and he applies it to prayer. In a thoroughly Gospel-motivated examination of this idea, he asks the question, "if we really believe that God is our Father, why do we not come to him as little children in prayer?" That is, why do we feel like our prayer requests and the way we pray need to be ordered, well thought-out, and reasonable if God's going to respond? Why don't we just ask like little children?

He examines the Scriptures to take a closer look at Jesus' teaching on prayer, and he challenges us to go to God as we are - not put together, not made up, not fake, but in true open, unabashed asking. I found this reminder to be totally liberating in my prayer life. I realized that I had put up so many obstacles and excuses in my praying that I failed to come to God at all. I was afraid to ask as a child. Instead, I thought I needed to ask like well-educated, well-rounded pastor/theologian. But God's not impressed with that. He wants me to come!

Subsequently, this has opened up a new appreciation for the concept of importunity. Importunity is the incessant, persistent, 'refusing to take NO for an answer' type praying. Jesus teaches about this kind of importunity in the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8). The basic point is that if an unjust judge will give in to the incessant demands of a widow for justice, how much more will a just God give in to the requests of his elect children? We can ask, and we can ask with boldness, with nagging, and with repetition. God is a father to us. Granted, this opens up various theological questions about unanswered prayer, and praying with sinful motives, etc., but the point we must not lose in all this is that we first ask.

Paul then gives various tools to help us pray not just rote lists, but stories as God is writing them. I find that this makes my prayer much more imaginative, my listening to prayer requests much more informative, and my praying much more intentional. I hope to invite Paul Miller's ministry to come to CF to do a PrayerLife seminar (based on the book) next January as part of our annual prayer emphasis.

Until then, you may want to pick this book up and give it a good read. Your prayer life and the people you pray for will thank you for it.

Praying for the Church of Egypt

I have no idea what's in store for the nation of Egypt, what this power vacuum means, nor what sort of repercussions the revolution we've witnessed will have. But we do know this - God will build His church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Let's continue to pray knowing that God grows his church by suffering, by watering the soil with the blood of his saints. May your kingdom come and your will be done, Lord!

My Relationship with the Church

How baffling you are, oh Church, and yet how I love you!
How you have made me suffer, and yet, how much I owe you!
I should like to see you destroyed, and yet, I need your presence.
You have given me so much scandal and yet you have made me understand sanctity.
I have seen nothing in the world more devoted to obscurity, more compromised, more false, and I have touched nothing more pure, more generous, more beautiful.
How often I have wanted to shut the doors of my soul in your face, and how often I have prayed to die in the safety of your arms.
No, I cannot free myself from you, because I am you, although not completely.
And where should I go?
- Carlo Carretto, The God Who Comes

I want God to answer me like that...

Francis Chan's talk at the Desiring God Pastor's Conference humbled me and left me with the very longing and marveling that he described. Not only was it a brilliant piece of rhetoric, but he challenged me to truly take up what it means to live in the reality that God is in control of EVERYTHING, and yet he still wants me to ask of him the littlest things. I hope it moves you to pray as it did me.

A Snapshot of Desiring God

I thank God for the way He has used John Piper's "Desiring God" so many years ago to absolutely wreck my man-centered perspective on God. Piper's book set me on a course to meet great men like Jonathan Edwards, John Owen, and Robert Murray Mc'Cheyne. I am indebted to this great work of love, and am even more moved by the motivations behind it. Watch for yourself.

What Hindered Prayers Can Tell us about our Marriage

I was recently talking with someone about things that could stand in the way of God answering our prayers. Several he mentioned were fairly obvious: unconfessed sin (Ps 66:18), selfish motives (James 4:3-4), double-mindedness/doubt (James 1:6-8). But then, he mentioned in passing something that I had never thought of - dishonoring my wife. My curiosity led me to 1 Peter 3:7. Let me start off by saying that I have long been uncomfortable with this verse because of its patriarchal tone, but I had to take another reading here to see what it said about prayer. I'll never forget my engagement party. One of the group activities was to write out advice for a good marriage on index cards. These were then read to us, and everyone got a good laugh until someone read this verse penciled on the card. Peter writes, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel (interestingly enough, the card stopped here!) since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." I've written some thoughts below pertaining specifically to men in ministry. For my sister co-workers, I will trust you to be able to wisely make application towards your husbands. For you singles in ministry, please receive this bit as my own index card of advice for you. Let me make a few observations: • However way you want to take weakness, this much can be agreed upon. The nature of the wife as a weaker vessel is a reason to give them honor. Weakness does not imply inferiority, but honor. • Along the same vein, despite being a weaker vessel, husbands are reminded that their wives are not just co-partners in parenting, domestic duties, and sexuality. No, wives are co-inheritors of the grace of life. That is, they have the same inheritance status as we do, meaning that they have the same 'sonship' rights to all that we will possess in Christ Jesus! • Finally, we must pay attention to the final "SO THAT" in v. 7. Here's the punchline - the way we treat our wives has EVERYTHING to do with how our prayers flow. No one would deny the impact and core place that prayer has in our ministries. No one would attempt to bear fruit in the kingdom without prayer (although sometimes that is how we work, isn't it). Yet, Peter is clear here that to dishonor our wives, to not give them understanding/respect/knowledge is to cut off the powerline to our prayers. It is to cut down a giant tree and block our pipeline to God. It's right up there with unconfessed sin, doubt, and selfishness. Perhaps Peter has in mind all of the distractions, discomforts, and disruptions that a rocky marriage/home life can bring to a prayerful life. But I find that more often than not, those rocky times drive me to prayer. So rather, it could be that Peter is referring to a habitual attitude of not honoring our wives. As we dishonor them by deception, pride, condescension, unthankfulness, selfishness, and neglect, we hinder the very prayers that can give us life. So brothers, whatever ministry pressures you may be facing, remember that nothing happens without prayer (John 15:5-7), and that if you are dishonoring your wife, your prayers will be hindered. Have a conversation tonight. Repent, confess, and humble yourself. I did that last night, and I've found that indeed Peter knew what he was talking about.