Having it all, but having nothing at all

I recently watched this Outside the Lines report on the tragic life of Erica Blasberg.

Several thing I find important to note.

1. Our hearts are always looking for something to anchor our identity in - whether it's golf, relationships, success, etc. At the end of the day, whatever we anchor ourselves in better be able to satisfy, or we're in deep trouble.

2. The need for community and deep, intimate relationship is strong. Erica longed for companionship. Notice the number of times in the video she is described as lonely. I am deeply disturbed that one of 'close' friends saw signs of trouble and even a note, yet didn't say anything for fear of losing her trust? That's not love - that's selfishness clothed in compassion. It's worse than hate b/c it ends up looking like apathy.

3. Authoritative guidance without the long-term picture in mind can be destructive and fatal. I find it so weird that her father was portrayed (and I recognize that there is probably some creative re-telling of the story) as remorseless and unapologetic. I can't imagine that any father whose child committed suicide would not have some regret or introspection, but I find it cold to say that he absolutely pushed her with very little visible remorse or contrition. I suppose that it's yet another example of parents living out their dreams through their children. It's something that I feel the tension for everyday - to dominate my boys so that they carry out my will. What a timely reminder.

I don't want to make this a case study, but it brings into clear focus what one of my co-pastors preached yesterday out of Mark 8:31-38, "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the sake of the Gospel will find it."